Networking for Moms (otherwise known as "Making Friends")

Every job I ever got, I got through networking. And I believe that networking can be really helpful when you're trying to create an ideal job situation that truly compliments your role as a mom. Whether you're considering negotiating a flexible schedule, partnering with another mom for a job-share position, telecommuting in your current position, considering a part-time job, or even launching your own home based business - these types of opportunities typically don't leap into your eMail box, but they DO magically occur when you happen to mention in a conversation that you're interested in a particular kind of position with a particular kind of company or working with a particular kind of person. The people who know us, naturally want to help us or give us advice about, something to the effect of, "Oh really! I know that so and so happens to do something similar" or ..."was just talking about such and such the other day..."

"I don't like going to an event thinking I have to hand out so many business cards or feeling like I have to push myself onto people."

Ahh, yes. This is the lament of job-seekers who have shared that they're clocking most of their time on website job boards in hopes of seeking the perfect match. I'm not so fond of the "pushy sales" approach either, especially since it feels completely unnatural to me, and really didn't work for me despite my optimistic efforts when I began coaching and people said, "Tell EVERYONE you know about coaching." Doesn't that just SOUND one-sided?

So what else works? A girlfriend of mine said it best. She worked for a prestigious hair salon as a stylist, her work schedule was becoming difficult to coordinate with her role as a mom, and so she began working out of the home. As she was joining activities and clubs (not business-building clubs, mind you), she would mention in everyday conversations that she was now doing hairstyling at home. I'm sure it wasn't the first thing she brought up and I'm sure she listened to what her friend was talking about as well. That's the difference - a genuine passion and interest versus a seemingly desperate need to get out information. I can say this because I tried it (ever so briefly) and quickly felt awful and decided that is soooo not me. And I'm guessing it's soooo not you, either.

Networking doesn't have to be this concerted effort to "get out there and sell yourself." It can be as simple as looking at what activities and people you're ALREADY engaged with and interested in. Especially with children, you probably know many, many more people than you realize if you're at all involved in a playgroup, PTA/school/field trips, boy/girl scouts, your local church, volunteering for any organization/event, meeting parents of your kids' friends, visiting your old colleagues/vendors or even hanging out with your friends. Just a little bit of enthusiasm goes a long way. As well as the golden rule.

I'm fascinated that as moms (me included!), we could ever be intimidated by networking. You've been doing it all along, haven't you?

Ok now, go make a few friends, renew a few friendships, and have some fun this week!

Go Out and Play, Then Do Your Homework!

I don't recall ever hearing this type of advice until coaching school, where they really supported the idea of doing what you "want" to do, not what you felt like you "should" do. Such a different message than I received growing up, no matter from parents, grandparents, teachers. I'd sit at my desk, daydream, and it would take me FOREVER to get homework done. Later I managed to join enough activities where I had to do my homework FAST, so it no longer was an issue. Although my grades may have reflected my diversified interests. :)

For me, one of my "lifelong struggles" has been managing my weight. So I know well all about setting up reward systems to get me to lose it. In high school it was the blue leather jacket (please forgive, it was the 80's). Actually lots of times it was the cool pair of jeans, shoes, whatever. It never occurred to me to get the reward first, that I deserve to have what I want regardless of the goals I achieve. It was in that spirit I bought my first iPod this weekend in the hopes of inspiring myself to work out. In hot pink, one of my fave colors. Precisely because I was not feeling so great about my efforts over the holidays. So now I'm all cheered up and ready to get the treadmill warmed up again.

Are there areas in your life you're "holding back" on what you want until it's the right time or until you reach a magical level of circumstances? Particularly with starting a business, I think it's sometimes really easy to fall into the mode of, "Well I have a free moment, I'd better spend it working!" I think that's a definite perk of having a baby - children don't ever naturally think that way - they just ask and get, ask and get. Whether or not the homework's done.

Will this reverse (or you might say childish!) approach to conventional wisdom really work? I'll let you know! In the meantime, I'll be jamming to "Groove Is in the Heart..."