Rome Wasn't Built in a Day

Have you seen Rome? I remember just unbelievable beauty. And a vibe in the air that felt (to me) even more intense than New York City. There were people EVERYWHERE. The streets were jam-packed with cars and motorcycles. And in other places like The Spanish Steps, life seemed to grind to a halt with people just hanging out, some singing, someone giving away puppies, and others just drinking and talking with no particular sense of responsibility or urgency about anything. (I suppose this isn't terribly different from fraternity parties I attended way back when - maybe my nostalgia was just kicking in!) I have to assume that Rome definitely took some time to build and develop its spirit. Plus if I remember ANYTHING from social studies (you can't even pay me to play trivial pursuit), it began long, long ago as a small city and transformed into a big empire and all that. Yes, Rome was built one incremental step at a time.

I have to remind myself of this often. I dream big and then get frustrated when I find myself unable to quickly follow-through on my plans. In my life, I don't recall any overnight, miracle successes. I took one-day-at-a-time. And looking back, most of my fun was working with other people in the preparation, whether it was practicing marching (yep, former band geek here), school play rehearsals, even dating - all those daily rituals led up to the natural conclusions of winning a band championship, giving a really great acting performance, and getting married! I suppose in the back of my mind I wanted those things, but they would have been terribly bittersweet if I suffered the whole process through just waiting for the end result.

My baby reminds me to appreciate where I am right now, to "play" versus "push" my way through life. That the wrapping paper is to be tasted just as much as the gift! :) To really enjoy every moment in my life even if it doesn't seem to be supporting a "goal" I've set for myself.

So on the eve of this New Year, as I've pondered and pondered how humongous and unrealistic I could make my goals this year (smile), I've decided to consider instead how to take smaller, incremental steps each day, that make me truly happy.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Happy New Year, my friends!

How to "Discover" Your Life Purpose

We each have a calling. We neglect it because we think in order to do so means we can't attend to daily life, or worse, that we must radically alter our lifestyles in order to follow our life's passions. It doesn't need to be so dramatic. Just do one small thing each day to honor your intuitive heart. Following those internal messages will develop your intuitive hunches. We do not have to make life a struggle. We always, always have a choice in how we decide to frame our situations.

So how do we honor our life purpose? What sorts of activities begin to let our souls inspire us? Think fun, fun, fun. Play with children. With pets. Write poems. Cook a wacky dinner. Plant a wild garden. Buy an outfit that reflects your personality and stop worrying about whether it's in season. Follow your own impulses. Set your own trends. Whenever you think to give advice, reflect that advice towards yourself and see what it means for you. Watch and read comedies. Laugh as often as possible. Don't just be yourself...be your childlike self. Start a blog. Dress up, even if there's not a "real" occasion to. Be a total nerd. Love your friends. Make new friends. Giggle. Smile. Always ask yourself, what if I had no worries, what would I do?

Life Purpose will then evolve and be revealed to you with each nurturing step you take. It's not an overnight process but a momentum of series of revelations that in time may begin to form a picture.

The litmus test? If you find yourself living in the moment in dizzying happiness, you're following your passion and purpose. If you're fighting for rewards and recognition, struggling to survive, doing things because they're expected of you or society, family or friends tell you, "you should," spend some time alone and think about what small things you can do today to be blissfully happy.

Exploring The Law of Attraction

As a Life & Career Coach, I too, have my very own coach who encourages me to persevere with my business launch even as I navigated becoming a mom this past year. Karen Cappello is the Chief Learning Officer of International Coach Academy, and so I am always thrilled to learn her pearls of wisdom. She offers a podcast website where she shares the wealth of her insights. I was absolutely honored to be a guest interviewer this past week, and challenged her with some questions of my own about the much-discussed-in-coaching-circles "Law of Attraction."

Click here: www.k-cast.com to learn Karen's thoughts regarding the practical application of The Law of Attraction, including how one of her clients memorably used it to attract her new life mate!

The Slice of Life

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a career woman. Even a few years ago I sketched a self-portrait of me in a tailored business suit, with a briefcase in one hand and a baby in the other. My own version of SuperMom. I even launched a business last year with the idea that once you discover your life purpose, surely you could find/create your ideal job and the money would flow.

I hadn't really considered what happens when life keeps you from traditional "work." Or I did consider, but just tried not to think about it. Until this past June when I gave birth to my first child. During my pregnancy, I had mapped out calendar after calendar to try to find available "white space" where I could schedule in my business activities...coaching, writing, networking. Mostly the white space was filled in with "new baby." I came to the uncomfortable conclusion that I'd have to just wing it.

So the baby came and I thought, well I could multi-task, of course. Except every phone call I began ended with the baby crying. It goes something like this. The baby looks so peaceful sleeping, with a pacifier fulfilling his every need. Then I make a phone call to a colleague or friend or family member and that's when it begins. It starts with small movements, then an eye opens, then both eyes, then soft vocal sounds, increasing in decibel and finally graduating to a full crescendo of screaming, where my talking louder and louder cannot possibly drown out the beautiful music that is my son trying to get my attention.

Obviously, my career is not going to get more than a fraction of my attention for awhile.

I was talking with my sister about my career aspirations the other day. I had grandiose visions of where I wanted to take my coaching business in the next five years or so. She said, um, what about say, the next six months or so? My reply? I was scared to death. All I could see was changing diapers and feedings and I just didn't want to think about it.

And gradually it has started to sink in. Am I really going to downplay the next five years and not acknowledge my life just as it is in the moment, right now? For this time in my life, the "mom slice" of my overall life "pie" is expanding, and therefore has effectively shrunk all the other pieces, including my "career slice." Being a mom doesn't have a job title, salary or performance evaluations. But for me, being a mom is a part of my life purpose. That was really an aha for me. Career is just a slice of my whole life; it's not my whole life.

Our lives are so much greater than our careers. So when we're laid off from a job, have a baby, need to care for family members, or even when we're in a job that pays the bills but that we don't feel inspired about...these aren't times in our lives to just be skipped over. They too are part of the whole. These years with my baby ARE part of my life purpose. When we dance together, we're enjoying exercise. When we go for walks, we're appreciating nature and our community. When in the not too distant future, I encourage my child to make the world a better place, we're connecting to our spirituality.

And then someday my child will be getting on a bus and starting his first day of school. And just as now I may be rueful that I can't go gangbusters with launching my business, I suspect I'll be very nostalgic for our long days together as he begins his journey toward independence.

At that point, my career slice will be expanding.