The Slice of Life

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a career woman. Even a few years ago I sketched a self-portrait of me in a tailored business suit, with a briefcase in one hand and a baby in the other. My own version of SuperMom. I even launched a business last year with the idea that once you discover your life purpose, surely you could find/create your ideal job and the money would flow.

I hadn't really considered what happens when life keeps you from traditional "work." Or I did consider, but just tried not to think about it. Until this past June when I gave birth to my first child. During my pregnancy, I had mapped out calendar after calendar to try to find available "white space" where I could schedule in my business activities...coaching, writing, networking. Mostly the white space was filled in with "new baby." I came to the uncomfortable conclusion that I'd have to just wing it.

So the baby came and I thought, well I could multi-task, of course. Except every phone call I began ended with the baby crying. It goes something like this. The baby looks so peaceful sleeping, with a pacifier fulfilling his every need. Then I make a phone call to a colleague or friend or family member and that's when it begins. It starts with small movements, then an eye opens, then both eyes, then soft vocal sounds, increasing in decibel and finally graduating to a full crescendo of screaming, where my talking louder and louder cannot possibly drown out the beautiful music that is my son trying to get my attention.

Obviously, my career is not going to get more than a fraction of my attention for awhile.

I was talking with my sister about my career aspirations the other day. I had grandiose visions of where I wanted to take my coaching business in the next five years or so. She said, um, what about say, the next six months or so? My reply? I was scared to death. All I could see was changing diapers and feedings and I just didn't want to think about it.

And gradually it has started to sink in. Am I really going to downplay the next five years and not acknowledge my life just as it is in the moment, right now? For this time in my life, the "mom slice" of my overall life "pie" is expanding, and therefore has effectively shrunk all the other pieces, including my "career slice." Being a mom doesn't have a job title, salary or performance evaluations. But for me, being a mom is a part of my life purpose. That was really an aha for me. Career is just a slice of my whole life; it's not my whole life.

Our lives are so much greater than our careers. So when we're laid off from a job, have a baby, need to care for family members, or even when we're in a job that pays the bills but that we don't feel inspired about...these aren't times in our lives to just be skipped over. They too are part of the whole. These years with my baby ARE part of my life purpose. When we dance together, we're enjoying exercise. When we go for walks, we're appreciating nature and our community. When in the not too distant future, I encourage my child to make the world a better place, we're connecting to our spirituality.

And then someday my child will be getting on a bus and starting his first day of school. And just as now I may be rueful that I can't go gangbusters with launching my business, I suspect I'll be very nostalgic for our long days together as he begins his journey toward independence.

At that point, my career slice will be expanding.